happy new birthday year!!

so today is new year’s day... the start of a new year and a sort of rebirth for many. incidentally, it is also my dear and beautiful daughter’s 6th birthday. so i guess that “rebirth” idea will always have a literal and symbolic meaning for her throughout her life. all i know, is that we got here faster than i could have ever imagined.

you always hear the same thing from parents of older children: “...yeah, they grow up so fast...”. i never fathomed how fast “fast” was. it seems like it was maybe just a couple of years ago that i came home from work to a house of bedlam only to find out that it was “time”. the next thing i knew was that my prospective second “boy”... was actually a gorgeous little girl.

now... i really hate to admit this... but there was a split second... half of a split second!!... of some emotion that wasn’t really... disappointment (aaghh!! shame on me!!), but more like surprise that it was not a boy. the ultrasounds, family predictions and wive’s tale science all pointed to the coming of another dude to join the daddy / Jacob fraternity! very quickly, though – like a half of a split second later – i was overcome by the happiness of having a girl. a daddy’s girl...

i remember being on a bus a few years before there was a Jake and Rachel, seeing a dad sitting with his exhausted 4, 5, 6-ish year old daughter all curled up on his lap. she had this look on her face like there was nobody around but daddy, and that she was inside an impenetrable force field that separated her from all that was bad and uncomfortable. he was her kingdom and she, a princess. i thought, “lucky dude... some day..”

now, it’s not like i don’t love it when my son sits on my lap or curls up next to me. but i have to say... it is different. please understand that my Jake owns a part of my soul. i love him like i can’t even begin to describe. but Rachel has this hold on me that only a daughter can have with her dad. that’s the best i can do to explain it, and maybe some of you out there with daddy’s girls know what i’m talking about..

anyway, today was her day – and i wasn’t able to be home with her. i’m out of town, at work, and the best i can do is celebrate “the day after your birthday, day” (we recognize “birthday eve”, birthday, and “day after” day – c’mon every birthday should be a three day event, right?). she’s a trooper, though, and the early morning call to sing “happy birthday” to her (done in a vegas lounge singer voice), the afternoon call to check what was in the big box from Papa and Lola, and the sleepy night time call to see what it felt like to be a six year old will have to do. tomorrow, though, is a different story – we will party at the castle, and as the Steven Curtis Chapman song says, “... i will dance with Cinderella...” i will soak it all in – the smiles, the giggles, the looks of amazement and love, “... because all too soon, the clock will strike midnight... and she’ll be gone...” wow... she’s already six.

so happy new year everyone!! happy birthday Rachel!! today begins the celebration of the next 365 days. let’s make each one of them count because we all know they will pass... in half of a split second..